Self Help Handbooks and Human Idiocy

So once again I sit down to my keyboard after a fairly long day of work, to produce another one of these articles that seem to amuse people so greatly. And I must admit the thought of people enjoying reading these makes it very tempting for me to become a columnist somewhere. Though probably for some bizarre magazine with a very select clientele.

But that’s beside the point, because today’s issue  is: Self Help Handbooks and Human Idiocy.

These are an amusing topic for me, considering that my father is very into these self help handbooks. But lets be honest how many of these books actually deliver the promise that they seem to give.

“How to Make Your First Million by A. N. Other”

Do people actually believe that these sorts of books will actually help them in anyway to make a million. The tips given in them are by no means incredible truths or secrets. They are, usually, simple common sense (though unfortunately common sense is far to uncommon these days).

The real secret of these people who write books entitled “How to Make your first Million” are, in reality, the following :

1. Write a god damned book called “How to make your first Million” .
2. Fill it with common sense tips.
3. Sell it.

How obvious does it have to be?

That’s how these people manage to make the vast sums of money that they do. By selling books like that to idiots that will buy them. And the only reason people think that they are any good is because, inherently, they either lack the common sense or the intelligence to think of the ideas themselves, and so another generation of readers (though we are running short of them as well these days) once more falls pray to that particular marketing tactic and gets suckered into buying something which they could have thought of themselves if only they had taken the time to unwrap their brain from its shrink-wrapping and actually use it.

Which brings me to my next point.

People are inherently stupid.

With each passing year more and more people become intelligent morons. And it’s a sad state of affairs when this is the case.

Case one: American

  • Relatively intelligent man
  • Uses sharp knives on a regular basis – as does anyone who cuts meat in the kitchen, after all human flesh is simply another form of meat
  • Is probably well aware that knives are dangerous, after all so many fatalities from stabbing yearly
  • Goes on holiday and buys ‘stabproof’ vest
  • Stabs himself and dies

How fucking stupid do you really have to be?

Hey I bought a stabproof vest, lets see if it really will withstand a stab from a knife, but I know instead of hanging it over a chair, or holding it and stabbing it, I’ll wear it and stab myself

And thats just one of many cases of modern stupidity. I could quote more but I’d get depressed at the state of human affairs. For many amusing tales of people who qualify for this kind of ‘Darwin Award’ visit and laugh at the tales therein.

Those are examples however of lethal idiocy or at least idiocy that will likely result in maiming or death. I mean how can so many people be so foolish. Where has common sense gone? I won’t blame the TV or the Internet or Games like many people do.

I will however place the blame on technology as a whole.

We have machines to do everything for us these days, from sharpening our knives, to making our cars and computers, even machines for wiping your arse (we love you Japan).

More and more machines are doing our thinking for us. And we are encouraged to let them, because ‘Machines don’t make mistakes like humans can’.

Well that’s wrong. How many times have I heard the phrase ‘There’s something wrong with my computer, it’s not working this out properly, it must be broken’. Well more often than not the computer is fine. It’s the User that’s broken.

First principle of ICT is the acronym: GIGO

Garbage IGarbage Out

Machines only work on the data that we give them. If we give them the wrong data they work wrong. They don’t make the errors. Along the way some person has made the mistake, all because they don’t think about what they are doing anymore, because they have the machine to think for them.

So this month’s goal readers: Stop and actually think about things for a while. Make full use of your brains and encourage others to do so as well.

Dave (A Successful Author of Self Help Books)

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